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20 mai 2011 @ 13:08
Title: Illusion
Genre: One Shot, Romance / Drama
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Because she is the most important person in his life ...
Paring: Aiba / OC
Note: I hope you like this OS, at least personally I'm happy, the result was what I imagined ^__^"

October 2010

What he liked about her was that she always accepted him as he was. His work occupied much of his time and his life, but she never complained. For more than eight years they had known each other, for more than eight years they were together, she always accepted everything. He could go for days for a shoot or months for a tour, when he returned, she was still waiting for him with a warm smile, welcoming him back tenderly. She gets used to this particular life. Sharing the life of an idol was not always easy, he knew it perfectly, but she accepted everything with a smile, happy just to be with him.

That evening when he returned, it was almost 2 o'clock in the morning. Passing the door of the apartment they shared, he tried to make as little noise as possible in order to not wake her up. But it was without reckoning on his eternal awkwardness, wanting to make as little noise as possible, he banged his foot against the commode, he had at the same time a painful exclamation, while trinkets placed upon it were pitching dangerously in an infernal racket amplified by the deep silence that prevailed a few seconds earlier. Masaki bent on itself, biting his tongue and then massaging his sore toes, mentally cursing this damn commode in the middle of the corridor and that damn clumsiness.

When he looked up, he hardly kept a jump of surprise. Natsumi stood before him with a curious look. Her long brown hair cascading over her shoulders, she wore her favorite pajamas consisting of a shorty and a tank top blue, faded by dint of washes. She then offered him a smile half tender, half amused, while crossing her arms.

"What are you doing exactly?"
"I didn't want to wake you up." He explained, sitting up slowly.
"I was not sleeping anyway. Have you eaten?"
"Yes, yes, don' t worry about me." He replied, stepping toward her while grimacing when his sore foot landed on the ground.

Noticing this, the young woman couldn't help laughing slightly. "Baka." She whispered affectionately.

"Did I deserve a kiss to soothe the pain?" he asked, stepping closer to her. "I suffer martyrdom ..."
"I'll see what I can do ..." was Natsumi's answer as she stood on tiptoe and put her arms around his neck.

The next moment she deposited a light kiss on Aiba's lips, who closed his arms around her waist. She stepped back slightly to look deeply into his eyes with interrogation.

"Feeling better?"
"Not really. Try again..."

She did so with a new smile, placing a kiss on his lips again.

"And now?"
"Not exactly..."

The same scene was repeated again several times, Natsumi's lips depositing kisses on his lips, his cheek, his jaw down to his neck, before the young man decides to dismiss him slightly for melt on her lips, claimant a real kiss, sweet, soft but deep and demanding.

That was also why he loved her, because she was sweet and tender, but also passionate. He will never be tired of kissing her.


"You come home early today." She noticed with a smile.
"It is 11 p.m. already." Masaki opposed by removing his jacket.

Natsumi looked at him with a smile. She was installed on the sofa, an open book in her hands. He approached her and kissed her tenderly before lifting her legs to sit with her. Resting her legs on his lap, he leaned back and sighed.

"Long day?"
"Very long..."
"You don't sleep enough lately. You ought to rest more."
"Yes mom." He replied with a grin, turning his eyes toward her.
"Don't take this lightly, you need to take care of yourself, I don't want you to have another pneumothorax."
"It won't happen, don't worry."
"It's normal that I am concerned ..."
"But everything is going well, so don't think too much about it, ne?"

Natsumi closed her book, put it on the table and sighed, before the bounded eyes of her boyfriend, she laid down arms.

"Okay. But then go to sleep if you're tired!"
"Yes boss!" he replied with another smile.

He gave a loving slap on the legs of the young woman and then rose. Then he leaned on her for a kiss on her forehead.

"I will first take a shower..."
"If you want to join me." He said with a knowingly smile.
"Go shower instead of talking nonsense!" she said to him sticking a slap on his thigh. But she could not prevent a smile of amusement to bloom on her lips.


"Something strange happened today ..." Masaki announced after swallowing his mouthful of Chahan.
"Really?" Natsumi wondered, sitting in front of him and watched him eat.
"Becky-chan..." he began. "Becky-chan asked me to go for a drink after the shoot of the show."
"Why is it strange?"
"For six years we worked together, it's the first time she offered me something like that! It surprised me."
"And you refused? Since you're here..."
"I said that I had to go home. She totally take me by surprise... You think she, well, you know?"
"That she has designs on you? I don't know, I don't know her personally."
"But yet she knows that I have someone... It was strange."
"Maybe, she just wanted to be friendly and nice, without any ulterior motive. You ought to go."
"You don't go out much this recent months. Apart from me, you don't see many people."
"I see people!" he protested.
"At work yes, but outside? How long is it been since you went out drinking with Sho-kun, besides the tour?"
"This… This... It was for his last birthday." He ended in a small voice.
"You see? Try to go out a little more, will you?"
"But, and you?"
"Don't worry about me. I'm glad to know that you see your friends."
"Okay." He abdicated in ending his plate.


"What if we go to Chiba next weekend? After my radio show I have my Saturday free. We could go to my parents." Aiba suggested enthusiastically.
"If you want to." She replied with a smile.
"It's been a while since you come with me, Kaa-san will be happy."

Natsumi merely nodded, still smiling before plunging her nose into her cup. They sat side by side on the sofa, the girl pressed against the heat of Masaki, both a cup of tea in hand.

The bell of the door disturbed the bubble in which they were immersed. Aiba placed his cup on the coffee table and then, after kissing the girl on the forehead, got up to open. He found himself in front of the worried face of his colleague and best friend.

"Sho-chan? Is everything okay?" Aiba surprised.
"It is rather for me to ask this question ..." replied his senior.
"What do you mean?" the boy asked, puzzled.

Sho took a step forward to enter the apartment and his friend let him do so without a word. Of course, talking on the landing was not necessarily very discreet. Sakurai doesn't bother to come over, once the door closed behind him, he replied in an anxious tone.

"We are all worried, you act so strange..."
"Strange? Really? How?"

Masaki was totally lost. Yet he was always true to himself, so why Sho told him that? Why 'all' were worried?

"You act as if nothing had happened, as if everything was normal. You don't see anyone outside of work... Aiba-chan, you know you can tell us about it if it goes wrong, don't you? It's not good to keep everything to yourself, particularly in a situation like this. You don't need to do as if nothing had happen, even outside the field of cameras. We're friends, no? "
"Sho-chan, I don't understand anything of what you're talking."
"About Natsumi-chan..."
"Natsumi? Want to see her? She is in the living room."
"What 'Eh'? Where do you want she to be? It's been five years since we lived together, remember..."
"Aiba-chan, Natsumi can't be in your living room ..."
"What are you talking about, of course she is, we were drinking a cup of tea when you arrived."
"Aiba-chan, listen to me." Sho cut by placing his hands on the shoulders of his friend, anchoring his gaze into his. "Natsumi-chan is not here... she's gone."
"I tell you that she's here, I am well placed to know, right?"
"And I tell you no, it's impossible for her to be there, she is gone Aiba-chan! She will not come back!"

Aiba pulled away from his friend's hands and made an about-turn to join his living room, determined to prove that Sho told nonsense. However, he stopped at the door, surprised to find the room empty, only left his cup where he had left it moments earlier. Sakurai had followed and stood a few steps behind him. Masaki changed his goal, heading toward the kitchen by calling Natsumi, but no reply came. He quickly visited the other rooms, the bathroom, their bedroom, the guest room that served as their office, laundry room, but no trace of the young woman. He returned in the living room where Sho was waiting, his face reflecting all the pain he felt for his friend.

"Don't you remember?" he asked softly.
"What?" Aiba finally asked in a faint voice, his heart beating with apprehension.
"It's been six months. Her heart broke. She had to have surgery last month, isn't it? But her heart hasn't held up so far. You both knew she had a weak heart, that it could happen at any time, but the prospect of the surgery have restored your confidence, no? It was sudden, nobody could have anticipated... She… "
"Shut up." Masaki blew. He remembered everything now, and his heart was so sore he felt as if someone tried to snatch it.

Head down he clenched fists and eyes, but tears found their way onto his cheeks. He clenched his teeth to stifle his sobs with no success. He remembered the call from Natsumi's mother. She had left a dozen messages on his voice mail before coming to join him. He was shooting at that time. He had left everything to run in the hospital where he had joined the crying mother of the young woman. She explained that it was the hospital who had called her hile Natsumi was taken to the operating room two hours earlier. While she was at work, she apparently had an attack of tachycardia, as she did from time to time, but stronger than usual. She had failed to stem the crisis and had fainted, her heart completely panicking in her rib cage.

The doctors, after having calmed the crisis, had decided to perform an emergency operation, like the one plan in September. The intervention wasn't benign, in the best case scenario, with a well-planned operation as planned in September, there was a 60% chance that the patient will survive the operation. But with the urgency of the situation, the percentage decreased to 40%, and the crisis of the tachycardia was still dropping to 25 %. But without surgery, her chances of survival were even slimmer, so Natsumi's mother had signed the consent for the early operation of his daughter.

They had been waiting a long time, the silence disturbed only by their sobs and ads in the speakers of the hospital. The other members of the group arrived soon after but were damaged in the contemplation of the void, also awaiting news from the one who had become a friend over the years. When the doctor came to see them nearly six hours after the start of the surgery, it was his entire world which crumble around Aiba. With simple words and a sympathetic tone, the surgeon announced that despite all their efforts, the heart of the young woman, too weak, had finally let go and they failed to recover her.

Masaki jumped on him with the energy of despair, urging him to try again while Sho and Jun were trying to make him let go. It was Natsumi's mother who finaly managed to calm him down. With a lot of dignity despite her eyes drenched with tears, she was deeply inclined face to the doctor and, between sobs, thanked him for having tried everything.

Aiba came to himself feeling Sakurai's warm body against his. He even didn't remember how he fell on his knees. Sho squeezed a little harder against him while Masaki stifling his sobs against his shoulder, the truth crashed head-on...


When he awoke in his bed that night, he wondered a moment where he was. Then his eye fell on a note left for him by his friend. Sho had returned home and advised him to rest, he would warn their managers and come again in the day. Aiba sighed and rubbed his eyes tired for having cried too much. His mouth was pasty and his nose completely blocked. He got up slowly, looked for a handkerchief in the bathroom and then overtook the kitchen for a glass of water. His eyes fell upon the altar that had its place in a corner of the living room. Above, a photo of Natsumi, a few offerings and an extinguish incense stick.

He surprised himself by his lack of lucidity in the last six months. While imagining that she was still alive and with him, he was careful to honor his memory. As if his brain had worked in two different ways for several months. He sighed, sad and tired, and joined his room.

On the threshold, his heart missed a beat as his eyes opened big. She was there, sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling at him tenderly. He dared not make a move, wondering how to react.

"You're not real..." he finally said in a faint voice.
"No. I'm just a piece of your memories."
"Am I insane?"

She shook her head, always smiling, and ends up patting the mattress next to her to encourage him to join her, which he did after a second of hesitation. Slowly, he sat down beside her and watched her with a quizzical look.

"It was a way for you to protect yourself, to overcome the pain. But it has eventually completely devouring you, you no longer distinguish right from wrong, you no longer lived in reality. I tried to push you back in reality but it didn't work."
"And now? You're going away?"
"Now you'll be able to go on with your life. It will be painful at first, but you will eventually make it."
"I couldn't see you anymore?"

She denied head before taking his hand between hers. Masaki wondered for a moment how she could be just a "memory" as he could touch her, he had touched, hugged, kissed her during the past six months.

"But I'll always be with you. In your heart, in your memories." She continued with a new smile.
"I don't want you to leave me. I can't live without you."
"Yes you can, you owe to... Sho-kun and the others will help you."
"I love you Natsumi, don't leave me." He begged, his eyes full of tears.
"It's already too late."

Cutting short any further protest from her, Aiba took her in his arms and fell back behind on the bed, the young woman propped against his chest. She said nothing but her head came to nest in the hollow of his neck, depositing a light kiss. Masaki tightened even further his arms around her, stifling a sob again... He fell asleep again, exhausted, a few minutes later.

When he awoke the next day he was alone again and a voice inside of him whispered to him that this time, she wouldn't return. Aiba bit his lower lip to keep from crying again. Rising, he walked toward the altar, prayed silently and after a few moments, sat up, staring at the photo of the young woman who smiled at him. Smiling in his turn, his gaze this time full of determination, he blew at her intention "I will do my best. I will do my best to make you proud of me."

A minute later he was on the phone with his manager and reorganized his schedule for the afternoon. He should continue to live. For her, for them, but especially for himself...
Rizz is Myne:Jan is Nice: aiba sunshineianne_xxyl on le 20 mai 2011 11:32 (UTC)
At first I was jealous, then I was broken, now I'm movin on :)

Kinda like what happened in My Girl, right? His love one dying except now, there's no surprise kid.

It was beautiful by the way, sad but encouraging :)
Thanks.. Congrats
Lily: Aiba 2lily_nee on le 20 mai 2011 16:07 (UTC)
Yes, kinda like My Girl, and a bit of The Sixth Sense with Bruce Willis xD

I'm really happy that you enjoyed it.
Thanks for commenting and for your congratulations ^__^
Janipandajanipanda on le 20 mai 2011 13:28 (UTC)
This was a sad story and you got me going that she was real.

Thanks for writing!
Lily: Aiba 3lily_nee on le 20 mai 2011 16:08 (UTC)
Glad you liked it!
Thanks for your comment~
raene_9raene_9 on le 20 mai 2011 14:08 (UTC)
uwaaahhh! i really thought that she's alive & loved their sweet moments together but when Sho came to confront him that's when my tears started to fall while reading...somehow i knew then that she just Aiba's illusion and wow! that's really painful...but glad that he was able to move on...:)
this is lovely... ^)^
Lily: Aiba 3lily_nee on le 20 mai 2011 16:12 (UTC)
It's strange how I'm happy to make people cry with this story XD But if people cry, it means that they enjoyed, so I can be happy ^^"

You're the second person who told me that, about understanding when Sho arrived ^__^
I'm really happy you loved it!

Thank you for commenting~
raene_9raene_9 on le 22 mai 2011 15:01 (UTC)
thanks also... ^_^
good luck on your next work...
masaki82masaki82 on le 21 mai 2011 08:12 (UTC)
Wah~ it's so sad... I actually cried... not living in reality for the past 6 months... it must have been hard on him... thanks for sharing :)
Lily: Aibalily_nee on le 21 mai 2011 11:12 (UTC)
Glad you like it! Sorry for making you cry ^^"

Thanks for commenting
jmonogatarijmonogatari on le 26 mai 2011 03:03 (UTC)
Ah I've read this several days ago! XD and as usual I forgot to leave my mark. I am sorry, having 2 accounts to juggle with is soo troublesome..

Anyways I really like your story here. Just the right amount of mystery/twist (please forgive the poor wording) and angst.
I love angst..

Thank you for writing and sharing!
Lily: Aiba 3lily_nee on le 26 mai 2011 10:40 (UTC)
Thanks a lot for your comment <3

Ok, now I'm curious to know what is your second account XD
Maybe you have already commented with it and I didn't know it was you xD

And this is totally out of the blue but I was wondering from where do you come from XD
「私が私のすべて」molskee on le 26 mai 2011 13:12 (UTC)
Now you know :) the user info will tell you where I come from XD
fancyann1974fancyann1974 on le 28 mai 2011 01:50 (UTC)
so heartbreaking, sad, so touching
thank you so much for sharing
Lily: Aiba 2lily_nee on le 28 mai 2011 08:03 (UTC)
You're very welcome
Thanks for commenting~